


Just Cas

by Mac_n_CheeseMeBro



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Heaven, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29248353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mac_n_CheeseMeBro/pseuds/Mac_n_CheeseMeBro
Summary: Castiel griefs a lost love, too afraid to see him in heaven. Along the way, he realizes who he is. Who he really is.Oneshot
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 12





	Just Cas

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first posted fic. Hope you like it. I do accept constructive criticism.

Day 143. He is staring at the sky again. The baby blue void looming over him, sprinkled with clouds. Nobody knows who he is. Not really. Everyday he walks out to a junkyard at the edge of Sioux Falls, South Dakota. That dirty trench coat he wears, some people say there are blood stains on it. His dark brown hair that’s never combed out. And those eyes. Oh those eyes. Those beautiful, enchanting, rich blue eyes no one can look away from. Everyday he walks to the junkyard, and finds himself standing in front of a certain car. A 1967 Chevy Impala; with a faded black paint job, and rust spreading over the rims. Ripped leather seats, and broken headlights. The man runs his fingers along the side of the car until he reaches the handle. He opens the door and slides into the passenger side. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, sitting back. The back of his neck wraps around the cold leather. His lips move, but no sound comes out. A tear. Another. And another. And a few more. His lips move again.

_I love you. I love you so much and I am so sorry._

Day 186. The man is back. Like he always is. He stretches his body across the hood of the car. He stares at the sky. The perfect, clear blue sky. Still not as perfect as those eyes though. He tugs on his tie and runs his hands through his hair.

Day 204. The man showed up again. He seemed to be in a hurry. Those lonely blue eyes on a mission. A sad one, perhaps. But he was filled with joy nonetheless. He fumbled through the glove compartment. A journal. Keys. A gun. Three files. And a letter. A letter read over more times than any Shakespeare play written. Nothing compares to this letter. A defeated last goodbye. Stained with blood and tears. Written with the shaky hand of a struggling body. A body leaned against the inside of an old barn. A barn with countless memories. The barn where it all began. The barn where it all came to an end. The man took a deep breath and unfolded the paper.

_Hey Cas. if youre reading this then i guess we didn’t make it. You were right, we should have waited for you to get here. Those guys were just too much this time. Got the jump on us, left us for dead. I cant believe Sammy and I are dying in the barn. This was the place where miracles happened. Im sorry we didnt wait. Sorry you have to get here and find us dead. Sam just crossed over a minute ago. Guess im just that stubborn. When I do cross, I hope Sammy is there waiting for me like he promised. I hope you come here too. I dont want to stop seeing your face. Dont take too long then, okay? I need to say something to you when you get here, okay? See you on th…_

The man can’t help but sob. His chest as tight as a rock.

No Dean. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn't get there soon enough. I’m sorry I was too bothered by your horrible taste in music to ride along with you. I’ve listened to your mixtape almost everyday since then. I love it. I love you. I am so sorry.

He folds the letter and places it gently in his pocket. He steps outside the car and looks up at the sky. A forced smile covers his face, then quickly drops back into his sad features. He nods to the sky and leaves.

The man stands in front of a sandbox, an intricate sigil drawn in the sand. Nobody is around watching the sandbox. This concerns the man. He thinks maybe the door is closed, and turns around to leave. But a ray of light behind him says otherwise.

A woman stands in the sandbox. Although she isn’t a woman. The glow of something else luminating from under the human body is shared between the two. The being gives the other being a solemn smile and extends a hand, as if she has been waiting for him. He lightly takes it and steps into the sandbox next to her. The light consumes them, and their surroundings change almost instantly. The being waves her goodbye and he goes about the pristine white halls.

He knows the place extremely well, having lived here for millions of years before his fall. His first fall, that is. The fall that made his siblings look at him differently, cautiously, as if he were going to be a rerun of their prior brother. No. He would never. The second fall, of course, is when everyone fell. Every angel fell to the human world, losing their wings along the way. Now that one. That guaranteed his siblings to never forgive him. At least from his perspective, that is.

_Winchane. Winchares. Winchest._

_Winchester._

The angel stops at a door labeled “Sam & Dean Winchester” and opens the door. He finds himself in a diner. Small, but big enough for the thirty people there. He looks around and his eyes fall on a man. A man carrying a whole blueberry pie to a table in the back of the diner. He nearly sprints toward him, but stops himself halfway through. What if he doesn’t want to see him anymore? What if he doesn’t remember him anymore? What if he waited too long?

The angel feels eyes on him and looks to the other man at the table. Sam. Dean’s younger brother. The man Dean shares a heaven with. Sam stares at him, and drops his fork, which makes Dean look behind him. Which makes Dean look right into those blue eyes. The angel, exposed, stands up a bit taller, looking into Dean’s eyes. Oh how he missed those eyes. Those bright green eyes. The forest trapped in those eyes, more beautiful than Eden; the angel should know.

Dean is now standing, facing the angel. His features soften and he walks up to the angel. He wraps the angel in his arms as tight as he can.

“I’ve been waiting,” He says, “I knew you would come, Cas.”

Cas’ legs grow weak and he collapses in Dean’s arms, pushing his face into the crook of Dean’s neck. After a long time, they pull apart.

“Did you get my letter?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“It is not your fault. I should have been there with you already. I-”

“Hey. Do not blame yourself for what happened. You couldn’t do anything.”

“I could have gotten here sooner.”

“It’s okay. I know you Cas, I knew you wouldn’t show for a while.”

Cas looks to his feet, but Dean pulls his face back up in his hands. They lock eyes. Dean takes a deep breath, taking in the sight of those eyes. He leans in closer to Cas and places a light kiss on his lips. Cas looks at Dean. Blue meets green; sea meets land.

“I love you,” He says under his breath.

Dean chuckles and kisses him again. “I love you too, you idiot.”

Cas sits down with his friends; with his love. He smiles, a bright, genuine smile to accompany those blue eyes. He’s not a man who lost the one he loves. He’s not a being too scared to call himself an angel. He isn’t an angel who screwed everything up. He’s just Cas. Cas who missed those green eyes.


End file.
